i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
