all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
