how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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