i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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