white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I touched a dick in church today
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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