As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
