i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
