How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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