Buhtt sex?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
