if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
