garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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