You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
