I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
