its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
