how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
