Nicole vs. Life
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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