just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
