but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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