It's like God shit irony all over that family
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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