ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
