haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
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