A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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