He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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