Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
