1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
