I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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