There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
