Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
