Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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