Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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