I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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