So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I see more hoeing in ur future
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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