Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
When did we convert life to cartoon?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
