I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i think i just lost a toe
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
