Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
