on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
