You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
