I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
God I need to hump something, right now.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
