I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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