either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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