I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
