i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
