I want to have your abortion
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Randomize
