YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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