Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
