he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
