She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
