we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
