I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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