we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
