I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
