so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
