hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
