i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
