Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
