omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
