Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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