3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
