Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
