Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
