Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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