I hate your face
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Randomize
